Well, hello! So, things are going to be shifting and changing here in this space. I really really enjoy writing helpful lifestyle content about productivity, faith, and boundaries–so that won’t necessarily be going anywhere. But I literally spend most of my day writing for other companies–using their brand voices, showcasing their expertise, and flexing that writing muscle. And when I’m not doing that (or coaching clients on how to implement and enforce their own boundaries), I’m working on the book. So like, I just kind of want to show up here as Joey. Not Joey the Content Creator. Not Joey the Coach. Not Joey the Author; just Joey.

A lot has changed for me in the last six months–and if I’m being totally transparent, those changes kind of spun me into a season of insecurity. You know, it happens. So it was just easier for me to show up here In Business Mode–my invisibility cloak of choice. But I’m feeling a lot more like myself these days, so we’re flinging that thing off. Everyone okay with that? Good.

Anyway, let’s move on to the point of today’s post. I had a friend confess to me last week that she’s been struggling with stress and anxiety when it comes to balancing All The Things. For her, that’s a new role at work, her home life, her sanity, and dun dun dun…her family. 

We chatted for a bit about the importance of implementing some boundaries for balance when she confessed something else. It feels like I’m being super selfish.

Oof.

Tell me that didn’t just send a familiar punch to your gut? Because girlllll, don’t I get it. Those of us who need boundaries the most are the ones who will literally give all of ourselves away and leave nothing for us. So, let’s chat a little about personal boundaries for balance.

First things first: why boundaries aren’t selfish

This is honestly something I’ve heard from every. single. person I’ve coached. So many of us struggle with the idea of drawing the line when things make us uncomfortable for fear of inconveniencing or upsetting someone else. Y’all. That’s a problem. Listen here when I say this, and listen good.

1. Boundaries are a statement of self-esteem and self-respect. Setting boundaries is honorable and something you should be proud to do.
2. They are vital for mutually respectful, supportive, and genuinely caring relationships.
3. By setting boundaries, you show others that you respect yourself and therefore give them the proper structure in which to show you that respect.

I’m not really sure when it became trendy to be a doormat, but I’ve spent enough time underneath other people’s feet to tell you that’s no way to live. You have to take care of yourself. And self-care isn’t all bubble baths and face masks (though I mean, those are fun and also important). Self-care is making sure you’re doing what it takes to protect your well-being.

Personal Boundaries for Balance

Set boundaries to protect your mental space.

Alright, if I’m being totally transparent, this one is the most important in my personal life. It is so dang easy to allow everything and anything into our mental spaces, violating our minds. Setting mental boundaries is all about making intentional decisions about what you allow into your headspace. Yup, that’s right. You get a say. We all have a mental capacity–and if you don’t set any boundaries, imagine how easy it is for the world to fill up your mental space, leaving nothing left.

That’s when we start to feel mentally overwhelmed. I know you’ve experienced that feeling before. You know, where everything feels like too much but you can’t exactly pinpoint what because you’re not really doing anything that should trigger those feelings. You’re at mental capacity. Time to take out the trash.

• Limit your social media consumption
• FILTER your social media feeds
• Place boundaries around your tv watching time
• Monitor and limit your media consumption
• Implement a boundary to protect time to read actual books
• Carve time into your schedule for meditation, journaling or light exercise to keep your head clear

Set boundaries to protect your environment.

This one will be more important to some than others. I’m the type of person who easily spirals into chaos if my physical environment is out of whack. So in order for me to keep balance, it’s imperative that I set the proper boundaries to protect my environment and keep it in tip-top shape.

• Establish a cleanliness & tidiness threshold then create a cleaning schedule that ensures you won’t cross into the danger zone
• Implement visitor hours for the household
• Determine if you’re a pet household or not. If so, establish those guidelines to protect your environment (are they allowed on the furniture, in the kitchen, etc.)

Set boundaries to protect your relationships.

Ah, this one is probably the trickiest one for most of us. It puts us in a position where we might disappoint others. And guys, that’s okay. When you look at relationship boundaries as a tool to protect the relationships that mean the most to you–it might make things easier. I have literally lost friends because I didn’t implement the right boundaries to protect myself in our relationship and the only way to fix it was to remove myself from the situation. You, your friends, and your family deserve better than that.

• Establish communication boundaries. Maybe you have a standing phone date with your mom while you go for Monday evening walk. Maybe you meet your best friend for a drink every 3rd Thursday. Maybe you know no matter what, you turn off your phone every Wednesday evening to watch your favorite show interruption free. Putting communication boundaries in place helps to manage expectations and eliminate guilt and resentment.
• Set guidelines for how you speak to one another. Teasing and roasting can be fun, but everyone has a threshold.
• Set boundaries around the expectations in the relationship. What do you expect from them and what do they expect from you.

Finding balance, when you get to the heart of it, is all about knowing yourself and your limits. If we do the work up front to really get to know ourselves and figure out where we stand, it’s easier to set up some boundaries to manage our personal lives.