I say often that you won’t find time, you have to make it. And I must say it a lot because I’ve started to get asked how you’re supposed to actually do that. I hear a lot from people that they’re busy and truly don’t have the time they need to get everything done.
And I’m primarily talking here about people here who have various responsibilities but are also trying to “find time” to take better care of themselves, workout, learn a new skill, start a business, lean into a hobby, things that are nice but easily get downgraded on the priority list when life gets a little extra busy.
Which, I don’t know how it goes for you, but I feel like these things just keep dropping further and further down the priority totem pole the older I get. When in reality, they should become more and more of a priority because your girl’s mental health depends on it.
And let’s be real, there’s truth to the statement “nothing works unless you do.” And I don’t mean that in a dream-chasing, hustle shaming kind of way. I mean that literally. If you are not functioning because your physical and/or mental health has fallen so far down the priority list, then everything else, like your actual non-negotiable responsibilities, will stop working, too.
How to make time to do the things we want?
I get it, you’re busy. I’m busy. We’re all freaking busy. And I’m willing to bet if you’re here then you’re probably the kind of person who tends to put everyone else and their needs well before your own.
Guilty.
We wake up one morning, burnt out, exhausted and unfulfilled wondering how on earth we got here.
And what the heck we can do about it.
Whether you’re trying to find time to chase a dream, explore a new hobby, take care of yourself, learn something new, navigate a new career or just to simply rest and relax, the root issue is the time keeps eluding you.
The desire is there. Maybe you even have a framework of a plan. But the days keep passing you by, one after the other, and before you know it it’s been months, maybe even years, and you still haven’t managed to make it happen.
You’re tempted to give up. You tell yourself it’s just not in the cards for you. Or, my favorite, this isn’t the season.
Yes, the reality is that there are certain seasons of life where things are harder, they’re busier. You’re stretched thin or emotionally exhausted. And it’s so important, regardless of what it is you’re trying to navigate, to pay attention to how you feel.
But I would argue that it’s especially important in those seasons to make the time for the things that matter to you.
Otherwise, you can accidentally stumble into a life we don’t want. Because remember, what you do every day becomes your everyday.
We are what we repeatedly do.
So how, despite whatever season of life you’re in, do you make time?
The first thing you need to do is get clear.
You probably have a vague sense of what you want. I want to get in shape. I want to read more. I want to feel better.
But for many of us, that’s where it stops. We let the desire hang out there — but it floats away if it’s not anchored to anything. Without clarity, we can’t do anything intentionally.
So you have to define the desire.
Once you have the desire defined, look at it from all angles. Break it down, get a robust understanding of what it would actually look like to incorporate this into your life. Here’s an example: Maybe your desire is to get into shape.
Obviously, that will look different for every person, but for the sake of this example, let’s say that getting in shape means eating better and moving your body more.
Good, but let’s get a little clearer.
What does eating better actually look like? Maybe you focus on reaching a specific protein and fiber intake goal.
What is required from you to make that happen? Maybe you need to do research on high protein and high fiber foods. You might need to incorporate some time to scroll pinterest or TikTok for ideas. You probably need to meal plan to stick to this goal.
Remember, these are all things that require time — this reminder isn’t to discourage you, it’s to help you be successful.
Because a lot of times what happens is people don’t account for all of something. And then they get overwhelmed and discouraged and they bail using the excuse they don’t have time.
Remember, we’re making time here. So to make time, we have to have a full understanding of what kind of time is required.
What does moving your body more look like? Maybe that means going on a walk three times a week.
So you ask yourself some questions: How long of a walk would be satisfying to you? Are you measuring by distance or by time permitted? What days of the week do you want to incorporate these walks? Will you be walking in your neighborhood or will you have to travel to a gym or a park? If there’s inclement weather, what is your alternative?
Great, now you know exactly what you’re working with.
Now it’s time to identify the why.
And y’all, this has to go a little deeper than “I just want to, okay?” If wanting to was enough, you wouldn’t be sitting here watching this video wondering how to make time.
I want to finish my next book but I still have a day job and a toddler demanding my attention all day long. At the end of the day, I’m le’tired and do not le’care that I le’want to.
Because the reality is, making time generally means sacrificing something. Now, I am not the person who is going to sit here and tell you that you need to sacrifice your well-being to learn how to do cute festival hairstyles because you want to.
I believe you can sleep the right amount and still make the time to do the things you need and want to do.
And in order to sacrifice something, in order to make yourself a little uncomfortable, you have to be super committed to it. And in order to establish a firm commitment, you have to be invested in the why of it all.
So let’s go back to our example. You want to make the time to get into better shape. Why? Well, maybe you want to look and feel better in your clothes. Or maybe you want to lower your blood pressure or cholestorol. Or maybe you want the stamina to keep up with your children. Or you want to be able to physically do the things required of you to take care of the life you want to live without being in excruciating pain.
You see, there’s always a root somewhere. Let’s look at another example.
Maybe you want to make time to explore a new hobby. Why? Well, you’re feeling bored and under-stimulated. You want the sense of accomplishment. You like the endorphins released when you learn a new skill or overcome a challenge. You want to stimulate your brain.
See? Roots.
The roots are what the desire is anchored to. Now, we’re getting somewhere.
Commit to making it a priority
We don’t bail on the important things — especially the things that other people are relying on us for. But we are often inclined to bail on the things we do for ourselves. I could go into how messed up that is, but you probably already know that.
Because I already know it and yet I keep ending up in the same place.
So how do we start treating the things we want to make time for with the same respect we treat our other priorities?
Well, that’s just it. We have to start treating the things we want to make time for with the same respect we treat our other priorities.
This looks like saying no to things and eliminating distractions.
This might be a good time to engage the mantra I adopted when I started making this shift: stop disappointing yourself in favor of pleasing someone else.
Recognize that you actually have time.
I can already hear some of you arguing with me — and okay, okay. You have some valid points. I know you’re busy.
— but you do have time…
How do you manage your time? Are you a paper planner person? Maybe you use an app? Good old iCal? Google Calendar?
If your answer to this is none of those things, that’s probably a good place to start. People who feel like they never have any money or question where their money is going probably don’t have a budget. Time is our most valuable resource. We owe it to ourselves to pay it some attention.
Once you have your life mapped out in your calendar, do a little assessment and see where, if anywhere, you can do some finagling to fit in this new thing you want to do. You might know your routine well enough to know where your pitfall moments are — you know the ones, that’s when you find yourself wasting time — whether that’s doom scrolling your phone or some other time-wasting activity.
Once you’ve identified the block or blocks of time available, schedule your new priority in.
If you’ve done the assessment and still can’t figure out where your new priority can fit in, we’re going to do a little exercise.
It’s called time tracking. And yes, it’s as aggressive as it sounds — but I promise, it’s super effective.
Here’s a free download. How this works is you’re going to track your time in fifteen minute increments for the entire day for an entire week.
I promise this is such an effective way of identifying how you’re actually spending your time. The key here is to be honest. If you spent an entire hour scrolling tiktok, say so.
It’s also super effective in identifying the areas where you can potentially either streamline, systemize or outsource. But that’s not what this blog post is about.
While this exercise is effective at assessing your time and finding the existing white space or wasted moments, it’s ultimately most effective at encouraging you to spend your time wisely.
Just like a money budget keeps you in check with how you’re allocating your dolla dolla bills (no? okay…) — time tracking makes us see the value of each moment and make the most of the time we have.
If you’re still having trouble making the time, run your choices through a filter.
Now, before I say anything here, I understand that there are certain things that cannot be run through this filter. Parenting obligations. Employment obligations. Things like that are filter-less. But you and I can both agree that there are certain things that we allocate our time to that, if given the chance to pause and really think about them, we would likely choose differently.
Your series of filter questions might look different, but some examples could be:
- How does saying yes to this impact my ability to make time for _______.
- Does saying yes to this bring me joy, fulfillment and satisfaction?
- Do I want to do this?
- Does saying yes to this cause me great sacrifice in either the short-term or the long run?
I hope this post helps you to start making the time to go after what you want! I promise you have it in you. And I extra promise you actually have the time. You just need to get very intentional with how you spend it! Comment below and tell me something you want to make the time for this year!
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