At the end of last year, I was in such a rut that I was desperate to find a way out of it. The idea of doing anything felt overwhelming. And my go hard tendencies were keeping me stuck — I didn’t have the energy to go hard; but my brain has a hard time accepting that something is better than nothing.
But with the rut I was in, I needed to get over that. I didn’t want to start another year feeling the way I was feeling.
Life and my mental health had been teaming up against me for the last several years, and I’d had enough. I was so tired of feeling defeated and exhausted and depleted.
I wasn’t sure where to start or what to do. But I did know I needed a win. I needed something that would set me up for success. Something that would allow me to enter into the new year with a renewed sense of self, accomplishment and confidence but also something that wasn’t so ambitious that one tiny little failure would derail the whole mission.
I lifted weights for 30 days, here’s what happened.
Why weight lifting was the perfect option for mission: pull myself from a rut
I work from home, but at the time of this challenge, I also kept my 3 year old son home full time as well. I would have loved to join a gym and attend a certain number of classes or hit the pavement and log a certain number of miles (both very good rut busters, fyi), but there were too many factors that could fight against those two options for me.
I needed something that come rain or shine, happy or sad, lazy or motivated I could make happen. I needed something that would allow for max effort but also accommodate those low-energy don’t-feel-like-doing-anything sort of moments.
Weight lifting seemed like the most logical answer for a few reasons:
There are a ton of free workouts on Youtube.
The effort required could be modified by swapping out heavier weights for smaller ones.
I don’t typically sweat profusely weight lifting, so I could easily slip the workout into any part of my day wherever I had a free moment.
I could do the workouts at home with or without my son around.
The challenge
I needed realistic. I needed grace. And I needed to set myself up for success. As much as my go-hard tendencies wanted to insist on 30 straight days of lifting, I knew the state of my mental health was not going to allow for that. I needed to add in some padding.
I opted for the following:
For one month, 30 days, I would lift weights 5 days a week.
In my mind, that was going to be to lift Monday – Friday, off on the weekends. But there were some weeks where adding in a workout on a weekday was purely impossible. In retrospect, the only way I was successful at this challenge was the fact that I had enough forethought to add in the padding.
The workouts & parameters
The parameters were simple: show up and pick up a weight. Okay, that’s maybe a little more lax than the reality — but ultimately that was really the only requirement. Some days I had more energy than others — so I did longer videos with heavier weights. Other days, well, not so much. On those days, I did a 10 minute video with lighter weights.
The only requirement was to show up and pick up weights.
The workouts: YouTube video exercises
I’d done weight lifting videos in the past, so luckily I already had a few favorite creators before I started this challenge. I’d like to tell you that I was super organized and mapped out exactly what I was going to do very strategically.
I did not.
If I was feeling motivated and adventurous, I’d scroll around for something that looked interesting.
If I was barely hanging on, I’d opt for an old favorite where I knew exactly what to expect.
The videos I used:
I created THIS PLAYLIST on Youtube with all of the videos I used during my challenge.
I don’t have a ton of equipment, but I have a few pieces that make variation possible.
I like this dumbbell set, especially as a beginner. I asked for this set for Christmas the year my son was born. Plus, they’re pretty colors and super easy to maneuver.
This dumbbell set is great because you can modify the weights used. The only thing I don’t love about it is that you have to have somewhere to store the extra weights when you aren’t using them. If I would have thought things through, I probably would have opted for something like this instead.
First, I have to say I didn’t do this for weight loss. So if you’re looking for numbers on a scale, sorry. This isn’t the challenge for you. I stopped weighing myself about a year ago after I was obsessively trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I finally accepted the fact that I am an adult woman, and my body has changed. And obsessively trying to obtain some arbitrary number on a scale just wasn’t a healthy mindset for me, so I had to let it go.
You can see the before & after in this video:
Unexpected benefits
My body did change. I noticed tightening and toning and all the things you might expect from consistent exercise. But since the purpose of this challenge wasn’t necessarily for physical change, I was also hyper aware of other potential benefits to consistent exercise. Here’s what happened.
I felt better in general. Even with a 10 minute, low effort workout, I felt better afterward. Endorphins are real. And they
I felt motivated to do other things. Big things. Small things. Things I’d been putting off forever. Things I didn’t even know I wanted to do.
I actually enjoyed the workouts and fell in love with challenging myself.
My head felt clearer. While the videos have their own sound, I would often just turn the volume all the way down, plug in my headphones and use the video as my visual guide. Just having a few moments of peace to allow my brain to be taken away by the tunes did wonders for my head space.
The challenge had the exact desired effect. It pulled me out of the rut. It did such a good job, actually, that I felt motivated enough to commit to vlogging every day in January to keep the momentum of “doing” going.
Ultimately, this challenge was such an easy, low-effort way to kick start the climb from the rut I was in. If you’ve been feeling the same — or you’re just looking to add in some low-stakes exercise into your routine, give it a go! And be sure to let me know how it goes for you below.
Confession: I’ve jumped into the sourdough deep end. A friend brought the most delicious sourdough loaf to our friendsgiving and since then, I haven’t been the same. A little jar of flour and water is now a source of unimaginable joy. Mix that little jar with some more flour and water, toss in a little salt and just the right amount of time and boom: a delectable sourdough loaf.
What does this have to do with a soup recipe, you might be wondering. But I beg to ask the question, how does sourdough not relate to soup. Maybe it’s the college kid inside me that survived on nothing but broccoli cheddar soup in a sourdough bread bowl for 4 years straight that immediately identifies the connection. But alas, the more sourdough that appears in my house, the more I want soup.
I have a few staples. Vegetable soup. Broccoli cheddar. Chicken Gnocchi. Creamy chicken noodle. And a very basic tortellini soup. All very delicious. But the other day I got adventurous and typed “soup” into the search bar of TikTok. I know, how very bold of me to risk my FYP like that. But then again, is an FYP full of soup recipes not the goal in life?
That’s when I was introduced to this delicious creamy tortellini soup by Paigeejenna. I did things a leeeeeettle bit differently, but I want to make sure credit goes where credit is due. I owe this beauty for the soup I can’t stop thinking about.
How to make a Creamy Tortellini Soup you can’t stop thinking about
This is one of those recipes that’s so simple to make but results an impressive dish. A great one to keep in your monthly rotation or to have on hand for when you’re surprised with dinner guests. It makes a ton of food and is very filling yet inexpensive to make.
Creamy Tortellini Soup
This recipe is so simple but packs a flavor punch!
The reality is we all get there sometimes. Where we’re tempted to just throw in the towel and go rot in bed. And some of us, ::cough:: ::cough:: maybe me, have been there more than we want to admit. The last year and a half has been really hard, okay?
It’s a tricky thing because I am a big advocate of intentional rest. But the truth is, intentional rest and rotting are simply not the same thing. What does rotting mean for me? That’s a great question. I’d love to tell you.
Rotting: when life gets too much and you lean into the space of doing nothing but not intentionally. You find yourself stuck in your pajamas, usually unbathed doomscrolling until your brain, well, rots.
Intentional rest feels good. Rotting does not. Intentional rest is rejuvenating and revitalizing. Rotting is…the opposite.
If you’re teetering on the edge of temptation, but you really don’t want to fall victim to the rot, here’s what you can do.
How to unfunk yourself
Recognize the feeling and acknowledge it. Realize you have a decision to make in this moment. Choosing to do nothing (i.e. rot) is still a decision.
Decide to do one personal hygiene thing. Remember, a body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest stays at rest. This one thing can be something as small as brushing your teeth or something as big as taking an everything shower. On the day of filming the video below, the one thing for me was washing my face. Remember, it just takes one. Small. Thing.
Change your clothes or put on shoes. If you’re already fully dressed, shoes and all, change your outfit entirely. I realize this sounds crazy but it makes an enormous difference.
Tidy the space you plan to occupy. Your house might be a total disaster, and it’s too overwhelming to think about cleaning all of it. Pick a place to be and tidy that space. You’ll be surprised how motivated you’ll feel, and you might even keep going.
Do something simple – for me, on the day of filming the video below, it was marinating the meat for dinner. Sometimes it’s just changing locations – I’ll pack the kid up and head to a friend’s house to work for the rest of the day. We may go to the store even if we don’t need to buy anything. The point is to shift up the energy, to keep “in motion” so to speak. This does not need to mean being physically in motion. It’s about keeping momentum going.
Make a list of what you need to do but add things you want to do into the list. Bonus points if you go an extra step and schedule those things into your calendar, including the things you want to do. Not only does it help to alleviate the overwhelm, by scheduling the things you want to do, it gives you something to look forward to.
Pat yourself on the back for choosing not to rot.
I realize these things are not revolutionary. And the reality is, they’re not difficult either. But when you’re teetering on the edge, even the simplest things can feel like too much.
It’s not uncommon for me, when I’m on the edge, to only get through one or two steps. And even those things may happen at a snails pace. But the point here is to do your best.
It’s important to note that my desire to rot the last year or so has been intimately tied to my fragile mental health state. While it’s all fun and games to make light of rotting, it’s also a pretty significant sign that something else might be going on — especially if you find yourself falling into the rot frequently. I worked closely with my primary care physician to work out a treatment plan, and I’m doing much better these days. I feel it’s also important to put on the record that I’m re-starting therapy this week.
“Hi Joey. I’m sure by now you dread seeing my name pop up on your screen.”
She wasn’t wrong.
The director of the daycare, a sweet woman about my age, was once again on the other end of the line to ask me to come get my son.
I texted my boss. Again. And I drove the 25 minutes to the daycare. Again. And picked up my son. Again.
Biting.
He was one. He’d only been in the one year old classroom a few weeks when the phone calls became a nearly every day occurance.
Everyone I spoke to told me it was completely typical toddler behavior. My family. My friends with multiple children. The pediatrician.
“But I’m getting calls almost every single day.” I told the pediatrician. “This can’t be normal.”
“It is,” they assured me.
But when we were one warning away from permanent dismissal, I made the difficult decision to pull him out. I’ll just keep him home with me.
I was lucky, I knew. I had just left my in-office job for a remote position. It was a big job, my new role. But it was also within a very understanding, supportive and flexible company. Do it, my bosses assured me. We’ll make it work.
And they did. Until the economy turned and I found myself sitting on the receiving end of the painful laid offconversation.
I found myself in a tricky situation. I needed a new job. But now I needed it to be fully remote and understanding. My journey to employment is a different story, one I may share another time, but just know that the experience added to the complexity of what we were facing.
Nearly a year after the daycare situation, I got the courage to try again. Preschool. Structured. Surely, this would be better.
It wasn’t.
The conversations started almost immediately. He wasn’t biting anymore, thank goodness. But now the culprit was powerful hugs.
My son has an October birthday, setting him up for a life of always being one of the oldest in a classroom.
He’s getting in trouble for hugging kids?
You can imagine the confused look on anyone’s face with whom I shared that information. Again, my family. My friends with multiple children. The pediatrician.
“This is very typical toddler behavior,” the pediatrician assured me.
But when my son was spending more time in the director’s office than his classroom, I had to make the painful call yet again. And I pulled him out.
Now what?
I’ll just keep him home.
I was lucky, I knew. I was working part-time in a flexible remote position and making up the difference working for myself. I could make it work. And I did.
But it was getting harder and harder to keep all the balls in the air. And then, an angel appeared. Okay, not literally, but it might as well have been literal. A post showed up in my neighborhood Facebook feed. A woman, only a few streets over, was looking to add a child to her small, in-home daycare setting.
Only a few children. Very structured. And with an actual angel running the show? Could this finally be it, I wondered.
At the same time I enrolled him in the in-home daycare, I also enrolled him in a program that was designed for toddlers who needed help in a classroom setting. Finally, I thought. We were getting somewhere. Maybe, just maybe, we’d found our footing.
We hadn’t.
While my son was thriving in the in-classroom program (one I attended along with him every week), the angel had to make the painful call — she couldn’t keep him any longer.
I have a responsibility to keep the other children safe.
That was a line I’d grown accustomed to hearing. One that while good intentioned, left me feeling gut punched every single time.
So while I was hearing weekly from the in-classroom teacher that she couldn’t understand why we were in the program, my kiddo was once again getting dismissed from a childcare setting.
I didn’t understand.
And I didn’t know what to do.
I was lucky, I knew. Despite my heavy workload, I was home. I could just keep him home with me. I could make it work. And I did.
Seven months later, after going completely screen-free and participating in a local friend group that allowed for frequent playdates with children his own age, we decided to try again.
This time would be better.
It wasn’t.
He’d only attended three class sessions before the conversations started.
Toy snatching. Powerful hugs. Very busy. Not listening.
“This is all very typical toddler behavior,” the pediatrician assured me.
But when I found myself having lengthy conversations with the director every time I went to drop off or pick up my son from the very part-time program, I knew we were at the end of our journey with traditional settings.
“I won’t ever enroll him in another program ever again”, I cried to my mother. “I can’t,” I weeped. “I don’t have the emotional endurance for this.”
Every where I turned, family, friends with multiple children, the pediatrician, our parent counselor, the behaviors were getting dismissed as totally typical.
Obviously something is going on though because we have now been dismissed from four childcare settings.
This time was different though. The preschool where my son was enrolled worked with us to help move him through a local evaluation process. It was the first time that instead of just dismissing the behaviors as “problematic,” they saw them for what they might be: signs of something else going on.
What we were seeing:
On their own, none of the behaviors threw up any significant red flags.
The things we were seeing were:
Speech delayed
Grabbing
Hugging
Toy snatching
No boundaries/personal space
Difficulty with understanding and respecting limits
Very busy / always moving
But along with those things, we were seeing things like
Compassion and empathy
Very bright
Desire to be super social
Little-to-no difficulty with transitions
Could follow directions (if you actually had his attention)
A strong desire to “help”
The process that got us access to the right resources:
We had originally attempted our hand at independent evaluations and potential therapies on our own. First with a speech evaluation when he was just over 1.5 that resulted in a no therapy is recommended at this time outcome. I had also attempted to obtain an occupational therapy evaluation when he was dismissed from the in-home care. I was put on a waitlist for an evaluation appointment to become available. I made the call in February. By June, we still didn’t have an eval appointment booked. This route proved to be frustrating, disjointed and ultimately very expensive and fruitless.
Luckily, the county we live in has a program available to children not yet school-aged. This program offers things like the class we attended weekly to help toddlers prepare for a classroom setting. It also offers parent counseling and once the child is three, an initial evaluation to determine if they could potentially be eligible for additional resources.
One week before his third birthday, we had that initial assessment. And they did determine he would potentially be eligible for additional support. From there, we were graduated to a different program that was associated with the school system within our county to potentially obtain an IEP and access the proper therapies and support.
The evaluation process
Initial intake
This was a meeting with the case manager within the school system programming. They went over all the results from the initial assessment and got additional information from us. My son attended the meeting with me, and he was given toys to play with while we talked in a small office. The case manager explained what we could expect from this process and the potential outcomes.
The Big Evaluation
Our county works with an evaluation center that only does evaluations. It helps speed the process along. All of the services and therapies, however, are provided from the county’s school system.
It was explained that waiting for this appointment would likely be the “longest” step of the process. It’s worth noting, too, that we were entering into this process in the weeks leading to Thanksgiving, which was obviously the kick-off to the holiday season where many would be out of the office and the school system would be closing for winter break.
The Big Eval consisted of a Speech Pathologist, an occupational therapist and a child psychologist. I was placed in a room on the other side of a one-way-mirror while they entered a room with my son. They lead him through certain activities that he was more than happy to participate in, all the while making notes and engaging in certain dialogue with him and one another. I could see and hear everything going on within the room but he could not see or hear me.
The eval ended with them bringing me into the room and offering their immediate feedback and insights along with asking me additional questions. They promised an official write up of their findings and recommendations within a week.
Classroom evaluation
Though my son had already been dismissed from the preschool at this point, they agreed to allow him to return to the classroom for the classroom eval. This was an integral part of the process for us because a the behaviors that were triggering us to enter into this process were really only presenting consistently within a classroom setting.
The evaluator observed him in the classroom for about 45 minutes and provided a write up of what they saw and what their recommendations would be.
They did also speak with me briefly in the hallway when I went to pick my son up after the evaluation.
They promised to provide a detailed documentation of the evaluation to the team to provide context and insight for the Big Meeting.
The Results & Scheduling The Big Meeting
All of the information was sent to us within the promised timeline. I will admit that I didn’t totally understand everything presented, but it was extremely thorough and I appreciated having the information ahead of The Big Meeting.
At the time the results were sent, we were also given a call to schedule The Big Meeting.
Big Meeting: Evaluation & eligibility results
The Big Meeting was a virtual gathering of myself, my son’s father, our case manager, a speech pathologist and an occupational therapist. They went over the evaluation results in depth, explained what everything meant, shared our eligibility results (he was eligible) and then provided their intended plan for intervention and therapies.
Our Individualized Education Plan (IEP) included enrollment in a special education preschool classroom, speech therapy twice a week and occupational therapy once a month.
Our timeline
September 25th, 2024: First assessment within the original program
October 23, 2024: Initial Intake with County Program
November 13, 2024: Big Evaluation
November 14, 2024: Classroom Evaluation
December 10, 2024: Big Meeting (IEP eligibility meeting)
This has been such a challenging experience. And I know how isolating it can feel to know deep in your soul that something is going on with your child but to be so far from any real answers.
If you’re noticing any of the above behaviors in your child, I’d recommended reaching out to the resources available to you within your county.
If you just need support, a friend or a lifeline to sanity, let’s connect. As a parent in the midst of it, I’m here for you.
I don’t know about you, but I’m always on a quest to find easy dinner recipes that my whole family will eat. And that includes a toddler.I’ve been lucky my whole marriage because I have a husband who will eat whatever I put in front of him, never once making a request or complaint. I can’t say the same for the toddler.
We love the Cracker Barrel meatloaf in this house, but I noticed something the last few times I’ve made it. The leftovers just…don’t really get eaten. Even when I slice it up and freeze it, it just sits in the freezer until I eventually throw it away. And as I’m sure is the case in most homes right now, throwing away food is not something I want to be doing. Not when our grocery bill rivals our mortgage.
I never thought to investigate further into this. Instead, I just stopped making meatloaf as often. Until my husband made a comment in passing.
He works in a college, and he was telling me about his day. “I got the end piece of meatloaf at lunch, which is my favorite.” He went on to explain that he loves how the topping caramelizes over the entire piece. And that comment right there triggered an idea.
Making mini meatloaf in a muffin tin
Of course, I hit the internet, searching for a mini meatloaf recipe that I could use. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of picky when it comes to meatloaf. With the wrong recipe, it can come out dry and bland. And well, that’s what I was finding.
Recipe after recipe, all I could think was that can’t possibly be good. Every single one was some variation of boring, bland meatloaf. And again, with the way groceries are right now, I didn’t wan to risk making a boring, bland meatloaf, even in mini form.
So, I did what I always do: improvised.
Cracker Barrel Copycat Meatloaf
Like I mentioned earlier, Cracker Barrel meatloaf is a favorite in our house. It’s so different than any other meatloaf recipe we’ve ever used. And it’s certainly different than the meatloaf I grew up eating. It’s moist, rich and packed full of flavor. It has all of the elements you want in a classic comfort food.
So I decided to give it a try as a mini meatloaf in a muffin tin.
Mini meatloaf in a muffin tin mistakes
Admittedly, the first time I did this, I made some mistakes. I followed the recipe exactly except I rolled the meat into balls and placed it in a muffin tin. I baked for exactly the same amount of time you’d bake a traditional loaf.
Don’t do that. It turned out fine, and we still ate every last bite. But it only occurred to me when I’d already overcooked it that it probably didn’t need to back quite that long.
I was also scared of what the oils would do. We all know that ground beef produces grease. And as someone who has set her oven on fire once upon a time with grease spilling and hitting the hot coils of the oven, I wanted to avoid that. So I also placed bread in the base of the muffin tin in an attempt to soak up the grease.
You don’t need to do that, either.
This wasn’t necessarily a problem, but it is something I modified the second time I made these. I originally overstuffed the muffin tins. That’s not necessary. It’s perfectly tine to make them the size of an extra large meatball.
Mini Meatloaf in Muffin Tin | Copycat Cracker Barrel Meatloaf
This delicious meatloaf is a family favorite in our house. So much so, we turned them into mini meatloafs for easy freezing and meal prepping.
2lbsGround Beef I usually only use 1 - 1.5 lbs and it's fine - I'm only feeding myself, my husband and our toddler.
1cupCrushed Ritz CrackersI usually use a sleeve, sometimes 2 -- measure with your heart
2 EggWhisked
1 cupCheddar CheeseShredded
1/2cupWhole Milk
1 TspSalt
1/4TspBlack Pepper
Topping
1/2-3/4Cup Ketchup
2TbspBrown Sugar
1TspYellow Mustard
Instructions
Preheat the Oven to 350
Sauté the diced onions & peppers in a small pan with olive oil until softened. Set aside to cool
Combine the eggs, crackers, sautéd veggies, cheese, milk salt & pepper in a large bowl.
Add the ground beef and mix with your hands. Be careful not to overwork the meat.
Roll the mixture into large meatball sized balls and place in regular sized muffin tin
Bake for 15 minutes
While the meatloaf bakes, go ahead and mix together the topping ingredients
At 15 minutes, remove the meatloaf minis and spoon on the topping
Bake for an additional 15 minutes
Let the muffins rest for about 15 minutes before serving.
I like to serve this with roasted campfire potatoes & green beans. Enjoy!
Keyword comfort food, meatloaf, mini meatloaf, muffin tin meatloaf
Mini Meatloaf in Muffin Tin Questions
Do these freeze well? 100%. I find that these freeze better than regular meatloaf. The constitution and more dense and so it withstands the defrosting process better than a traditional slice of meatloaf which tends to fall apart in the process. I froze them (with the topping on) in a quart sized freezer bag then just placed them in the fridge the night before I wanted to serve them. To reheat, I nuked them in the microwave for about 45 seconds. Came out perfect.
What’s a serving size? Nutritionally, I don’t know. But as far as knowing how many you might need per person, my husband and I both agreed that 2 were too many initially. One wasn’t enough. We both were fully satisfied with 1.5. My toddler will eat one.
Were theydry? Not even a little bit. Even on the first batch that I aggressively overcooked, they were still very moist (sorry for the word 🤪).
This is such a great meal to meal prep and also a great option to make for a family member or friend in need of freezer meals.
If you try it out, let me know! I’d love to hear about any modifications you make!
