Can I tell you something? Until very recently, I thought I was stupid. I don’t say that to be dramatic; I actually believed it. I just thought okay, well, people get dealt a hand in life, and mine just didn’t have anything special in it. That’s okay, I’ll just be the nice girl.
I’m embarrassed to admit that. Of course I am. I’m not 100% sure where that thought theory came from, but I can bet a myriad of situations and encounters are to blame. And I’m also willing to bet that I’m not the only person who has ever felt that way. Tell me I’m wrong. Are there things that you want that you immediately dismiss? Telling yourself that only other people get to have those things? That only other people get to do those things?
I often think about that Albert Einstein quote…
Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on his ability to climb a tree, it will live its entire life believing it is stupid.
#me
My husband locked his keys in his car this afternoon. When he called for a rescue, I was in the middle of hammering out the final details on a project for work, so he had to wait. When we finally got home after he pried his way into his car with a coat hanger, we caught each other up on our days over cheeseburgers. I buzzed as I filled him in on the projects I’m working on–discussing proposals and content calendars and the cool people Myra and I get to work with on a daily basis. And in that moment, it hit me.
I did this, I said to him.
He nodded as if to say of course you did.
The this I’m referring to here is my job. Fact is, my week was absolutely manic. Probably the busiest to date in Bliss existence. And this whole company, all of this work, came from a tiny little nagging idea in the back of my head a couple years ago.
I think you can.
God’s tiny little whisper was hard to ignore. Instead of dismissing myself, I started dismissing the doubt, the voice telling me I couldn’t have the things I wanted. I started to ask myself why not me? There was no proof that Myra and I could pull this thing off. There were no hard and fast facts that I could present to Myra when I asked her to go in on this business with me…this wild and crazy idea that initially would only cost us money.
But every person I thought would doubt me instead told me I think you can. And I didn’t realize until those words slipped their lips how desperately I needed the validation; someone to help drown out the false reality I’d created for myself.
So hear me when I say to you, I think you can. Whatever it is you want to do, I think you can do it. In fact, let me help you do it. Because there’s nothing in this life that you can’t have if you work for it.
So, what do you want?
Do you think you can do it?
I think you can.
Good morning, friends. I’ve missed you guys. So I’ve got my cup of coffee, and I’m going to pretend we’re finally catching up over a long overdue coffee date. Ready? Ready…
If you follow me on social media, then you know I’ve been dealing with a wicked case of tendonitis in my right wrist. It’s been much better the last few weeks, mostly due to the kindness of a friend from college. She saw my desperate pleas on InstaStories and whipped up an essential oil concoction specifically designed for tendonitis. And that sucker works. Oh, and it smells really good, too. If you need a DIY tendonitis treatment, get in touch with Courtney at Lemongrass & Lime. Or you can shop her site directly HERE.
I’ve been having some crazy “pinch me” moments lately. I spend my days working on projects I could only dream about years ago. It’s hard for me to imagine that only 16 months ago, I was sweeping someone else’s floors. I love this job, and I’m good at it. But for so long I underestimated myself and assumed I couldn’t have the things I wanted. If that’s you right now, can you trust me when I tell you to just freaking go for it already? You are smart enough. And you are brave enough. It’ll take time. And it’ll be scary as all hell. But don’t waste your life away. Do the things you want, friend.
Peppermint mocha coffee creamer awakens my soul. You know how certain scents can link you back to specific moments in time? I’ve never really experienced it with taste (except for chocolate chip cookies & Christmas, duh). But this season, the peppermint mocha creamer reminds me of the days when my creativity was at its peak with this blog. And I miss it oh so much. I shared some realness on Instagram this week, and it seems you all miss the real life connections, too. I don’t know that blogging will ever go back to the way it used to be (there are too many quick fixes to keep up with people these days), but I’m going to try to revive it, I think.
God’s been in my corner, showing off. I’m not ready to go into details yet (sorry to be that blogger), but some things have been going on here in the Hodges household (aren’t they always?). But I’m going to admit something here. I kind of like it when life goes up in flames. When the things you rely on 100% get torn away, your only option is to rely on God. (It’s like He designed it that way or something… ;)) And I love sitting back, trusting Him, and watching Him do His thing. He’s never let us down–and this time is no exception. I promise I’ll share when I’m ready.
I wrote a freaking book but never held it in my hands… Long time followers will know I published a book back in 2014. It’s called Yeah, maybe,and people seem to like it. But I only published it as an e-book. The unknowns mixed in with the printing process freaked me out, so I stuck with what seemed easy. But I’ll tell you something–publishing an e-book doesn’t really feel any different to publishing a glorified blog post. I hit publish, it went off into the world, and I never saw it again. Done and done. But through a lot of encouragement, I’m finally in the process of publishing that baby in print. And last week? I GOT TO HOLD MY BOOK IN MY FREAKING HANDS. That sucker is thick. I can’t believe I wrote it!! I’ll keep you all looped in to when it’ll be released and…(fingers crossed all goes according to plan), and my signing dates!
Okay, I think that’s enough catching up for now. How have you guys been?
Was there ever a more perfect way to start the day? I think not. It’s been crazy around here this year, friends. Clearly, because I’ve all but totally abandoned this space. I look back on the last 8 months and wonder where on earth has the time gone?
I’d say that I feel like I don’t have much to show for it, but when I really think about it–I guess I do. Jonathan and I moved from our little spot of paradise in the city to a house in the suburbs in February. The months that followed involved a lot of running in place. We never really officially settled into this house. It’s like we’ve been living in a long-term AirBnB. It’s as if we could sense a change approaching; waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Spring-summer was consumed with getting Mom moved. When I think about it, really think about it, I can’t believe we pulled that off. The magnitude of that entire project is bewildering. My mom, friends? She’s a freaking champion. 30 years packed into boxes. Strangers who have now become friends will fill the hallways of the house I called home my entire life. And there’s an odd sense of peace about it all. Go through something like that–where all the pieces have to magically fall into place–and you’ll never question if God is real again. I saw Him. I saw Him every single day.
The last couple of months, Myra and I have been little worker bees getting our little biz ready for a big restructure. I also spent the entire summer developing a 12 module course. Over 30,000 words written and countless exercises created.
And somewhere in between, hundreds of cups of coffee were consumed, thousands of hugs were shared, and approximately 10 candles were burned completely down. It’s a year like this that proves the time passes anyway. And if you aren’t paying attention, you’ll miss it all.
I’ve functioned on autopilot almost all year long. That tends to happen during “odd” years. I’ve noticed a pattern in my life: the even years are good, big, life changing. The odd years, well, those are the growing years.
A lot has happened this year, friends. Things that have changed me, forced me to grow. Things that have forced me to let certain things go for good. Things that have encouraged me to just go for it. All of it. Whatever it is. We get one life. Use it.
I’ve brought my YouTube channel back to life once again. You can expect new content there on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Usually one day-in-the-life vlog and one sit down video per week. It’d mean a lot to me if you went over and subscribed! Catch up on my latest videos here.
Oh, hi. It’s been a minute, huh? I guess I have some explaining to do. That’s kind of the whole point of this post, if I’m being honest. Self-help books made me stop blogging. Okay, that’s dramatic. But…it’s actually kind of the truth.
I was once a relatively balanced person who always prioritized the things that made me feel like myself. Reading, spending time with friends, watching TV, painting my nails, you name it. But, somewhere along the way, I decided I wasn’t good enough.
My life wasn’t good enough.
I wasn’t smart enough.
…productive enough.
…challenging myself enough.
So, I did what I do best. I started seeking information. Learning, growing, changing. When this is done right, when it’s done in a healthy way, it can be incredible. But for me? It was the start of an ugly addiction.
I could always be better, learn more, perfect.
And soon, I edged out all the things that once made me me to be a better version of a me who doesn’t make time for anything other than better.
I forfeited enjoyment.
I structured myself into a dull box full of inadequate feelings that only encouraged my perfection addiction.
I’ll admit it, the fear of starting a business is what sent me down the self-help rabbit hole. I was so afraid that someone was going to expose me for what I really was: someone who was just figuring it all out one day at a time. As a business owner, that freaked me out. Not knowing was unacceptable to me. I had to have all the answers. Everything had to be perfect! I’d spend hours absorbing new information and learning new skills only to then turn around and deliver new creative for the biz. That would have been enough, maybe even healthy. Learning and using new skills is a great thing.
But then I’d spend hours, sometimes days obsessing over it. That’s when the negative self talk would creep in. I couldhave done that better. Maybe I should have approached it like this person. OMG this business is offering the same services and they must be better than us and I should just give up.
So then I’d turn to self-help.
Freaking out as an entrepreneur is NORMAL. I knew this! So I turned to all those people like me, those brave little creatives, for some sound advice.
Find confidence!
Always do your best!
It’s okay to fail, that means you’re trying!
Always be learning.
Hustle. Hustle. HUSTLE!
Sacrfice. Sacrfice. Sacrifice. CYCLE REPEAT.
Full, but empty.
I’d hustle from the moment my eyes opened until the second my head hit the pillow. If I couldn’t give something my best, it got scrapped. If something wasn’t serving the overall purpose of reaching my goals, it got scrapped. If something could be defined as a waste of time, gone it went.
I stopped reading books for fun. My manuscript sat untouched. This blog grew cobwebs. I stopped being Joey because Joey wasn’t good enough.
My life was so full. I was doing big, exciting, risky things often. And don’t get me wrong–that makes me feel so alive! But somewhere along the way, I drained myself of my creativity and personality. I was a slave to perfection.
[ctt template=”8″ link=”6×110″ via=”no” ]My head felt full, but my heart was empty.[/ctt]
It’s ok to chase your dreams. In fact, do it! Fill your head with what you need to know and constantly be learning. Just don’t let any of that strip you of the person you once were.
As bloggers fell off the bandwagon over the years, I always claimed that would never be me because writing is just part of who I am. Now, I get that I own and run a business that has me writing literally all day. But this space, these words? They’re mine, all mine. And without it, without them, I slowly started to disappear.
My business is hugely important to me. And I will always want it to be the best it can be. But I have to remember that it was this little space that even made that business possible. All of my dream-come-true moments root back to blogging.
Over the last few years, I’ve put entirely too much pressure on this space. I forced it into something it was never meant to be: a job. I love the opportunities blogging brings my way, and I’ll always be down for a fun collaboration. But this space was never intended to be just that: a money maker.
Self-help taught me I could do anything but paralyzed me into silence.
So I’m brushing off the cobwebs and setting out to reclaim my voice.
I joined a gym to start doing yoga. Last week, on my birthday actually. I’m not really sure where the desire came from–but it hung around long enough that I decided to take action. I’ll be honest and say embarrassment is what was holding me back. I remember feeling the same when I was battling the idea of starting to run.
My first few times out, I felt so visible. Like everyone was watching me struggle and passing judgment. And that feeling was almost strong enough to keep me from trying in the first place. But I had to keep making the choice to show up amidst struggle and embarrassment.
I went to a yoga class on Monday and had my ass handed to me. I have no idea what a chaturanga is but they kept asking me to do it. And worse, the people around me weren’t just able to remember all the steps–they were actually hitting them. I, on the other hand, was a squeaky, sweaty, toppling mess. I swear it was like a scene from a movie. That would be the montage until finally, at the end, it would come into real time and show me thriving.
But the thing is–life isn’t a movie montage. You actually have to suffer through the discomfort and keep trying. The time doesn’t get sucked into a vortex to reveal your ending immediately, as much as we wish it would.
I remember thinking when I was pushing through 3 and 4 minute run cycles (and hardly making it) won’t it be cool when I can run a whole mile? I run regularly these days. Usually 2 miles. Sometimes more. I couldn’t do that before.
I guess the point I’m trying to make here is stop accepting your limitations as permanent truths. I did for a really, really long time. But I’m starting to learn–from the business, from writing a book, from challenging myself athletically, if you put the effort in, you can actually do anything.
I’m not saying you’ll be perfect at it. I’m not even saying you’ll do it well. But what the heck! Try anyway!
I lived so much of my life completely unaware that you can actually invent yourself. Instead of accepting the definitions laid upon your shoulders, stand up tall and make yourself into someone you actually like. Because guess what…you can.
And if you’re brand new here–I’m 31. So no, it’s not too late for you to try.
