Real Life

When you’re staring down big change.

When you’re staring down big change.

I couldn't sleep. 3:30 and wide awake. I laid there for a while trying to will the sleep to come. It is not lost on me that for months I wished for the opportunity to sleep. And here it is and my body is literally rejecting it. But the truth is, I couldn't quiet my...

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I didn’t want kids.

I didn’t want kids.

I didn't know it would feel like this. We spent a lot of our marriage moving around, reinventing, re-establishing. It's exhausting, honestly. Fun, sure. Exciting, absolutely. But exhausting. I saw my friends buying houses, having babies, establishing families. We were...

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Jesus, make my baby cry

Jesus, make my baby cry

It happened so fast. And then in slow motion it seemed. Everything was fine. Perfectly normal. Textbook, and then it wasn't. My pregnancy was pretty uneventful. I'm lucky, I know. Besides getting Covid in my 9th month, I didn't have to experience a whole lot of fear....

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It’s not enough

It’s not enough

It’s December 2nd. It’s been almost 2 months since I last got up, got ready, and drove to work for the day. It’s been almost 2 months since I gathered my belongings, switched off the light and turned in the doorway to get one last look. I was emotional. Sad to leave....

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Dear little one, (A strange life update)

Dear little one, (A strange life update)

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I've worried since the moment I found out you existed. I worried if you would stick around. I worried about being a terrible mother. I worried if you would be okay. I worried if I was feeding you enough, if I picked the...

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Some things.

I did it again. I dropped off the face of the planet just like I promised I wouldn't. OG blog friends -- do any of you just sort of feel...old in the online space these days? I ditched socials, at least in the consistent consuming/posting kind of way back in May of...

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